Ready to Blow

By Andrea Merrell

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses … Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!

Deuteronomy 30:19 NIV

 

When my kids were younger, they probably thought their mother was a powder keg—always ready to blow. I can just imagine them saying to their friends, “Yep, that’s my mom. Blow in, blow up, blow out.”

 

In my twenties and thirties, anger became my default. I took everything personally and was easily offended. I automatically reacted to the slightest annoyance while struggling to keep my emotions in check. I cried, prayed, and constantly asked for forgiveness. This went on for years, and I could never understand why God didn’t just take the anger away.

 

Then one day during my quiet time (when I was actually listening instead of doing all the talking), I heard that still, small whisper: You’re choosing to be angry.

 

Thoughts shot through my head like bottle rockets on the Fourth of July. Excuse me. Choosing? Not me, Lord. I hate being angry. You’ve got to be kidding. But in my heart I knew the answer to my desperate prayers had finally come. The responsibility fell on me, and it was time to choose a different response.

 

When I was growing up and someone would act in an unbecoming manner, my grandfather would say, “That boy sure has a mind of his own.” Well said, and so true. God gave us a mind and a will, granting us the capacity to make choices. We can make the right ones or live with the consequences of the wrong ones. What a shame when we have to get older before we learn the biblical principle of choosing life and blessings over death and curses.

 

Since there are no do-overs, I can’t go back and change the past, but many years of walking with the Lord have taught me to make better choices. Am I still tempted to get angry? Definitely. But God has lengthened my fuse, shown me a better way, and I no longer walk around ready to blow.

 

How about you?

(Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net and graur razvan ionut.)

 

Harboring Resentment

 

By Andrea Merrell

Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who 

does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you.

Love is more important than anything else.

It is what ties everything completely together.

Colossians 3:13-14 CEV

Resentment simmered below the surface like a pot of water. At any moment it could come to a full, rolling boil.

The man tried to hide it, but the resentment he harbored deep inside became obvious in every stressful situation he encountered. And his refusal to deal with it took a toll on him mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually—not to mention his marriage, his job, and all his other relationships.

Walking in forgiveness—the only way to have true peace—means dealing with situations as they arise, not stuffing them down. It’s a day-by-day, moment-by-moment process. Dwelling on unresolved problems produces a stronghold that leads to anger and resentment. Eventually, a root of bitterness takes hold, robbing us of the life God wants us to live.

Forgiveness is a choice, and life is too short to harbor resentment—no matter what. Don’t dwell on the past. And don’t hold on to bad feelings. Let them go … quickly.

As the Word says, Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Love is more important than anything else.

Today is the day. Forgive and move on.

(Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net and Stuart Miles.)

Death of a Habit

 By Andrea Merrell

 

Above all else, guard your heart,

    for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23 NIV

 

I killed it. Buried it. Laid it to rest years ago. R.I.P.

 

But as we all know, old habits don’t always die easily. Sometimes they pop up out of the ground and sneak up on us like a scary movie.

 

Anger controlled me for years. It became a bad habit. An extremely bad habit. My default. Whenever I was unable to control a situation, I got mad. It was a terrible problem that I prayed about continually. One day God revealed to me my problem was a choice. When things didn’t go my way, I chose this ungodly reaction.

 

That’s the day my anger died. A done deal. Never to be seen or dealt with again. Or so I thought. Unfortunately, it still rears its ugly head when I least expect it and, once again, I have to make a choice.

 

The Bible calls us new creations. When we accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, we’re told to take off the “old man” and put on the “new” (Ephesians 4:22-23). The key is knowing it’s a process—not an event. It’s called sanctification. Walking it out. Growing in our faith.

 

As long as we live in these earthly bodies, we will be engaged in a war between the spirit and the flesh. The one that wins is the one we feed the most.

 

If you’re dealing with bad habits, take responsibility for your own thoughts, words, and actions … then take them to the Lord. He is ready to help you when you’re ready to turn them over to Him. 

TWEETABLE

Old habits don’t always die easily. Sometimes they pop up out of the ground and sneak up on us like a scary movie. via @AndreaMerrell (Click to tweet.)

 (Photo by Valeriia Miller from Pexels.)

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The Bad Temper Club

By Andrea Merrell

The Bad Temper Club. I used to be a member. Actually, for many years I was the president and CEO. I finally cancelled my membership and moved on, but on occasion, I find myself wandering back inside the clubhouse to let my anger fly.

Even though there is a time and place for righteous anger, for the most part this emotion is a destructive force. It can end friendships, tear families apart, wreck our health, and destroy just about everything it touches. The Bible calls it foolish (Proverbs 14:17, 29).

Listen to what others have to say:

• When your temper gets the best of you, it reveals the worst of you. Instead of solving the problem, anger only makes it worse. ~Bob Gass

• Take this remark from Richard poor and lame: whate’er’s begun in anger ends in shame. ~Ben Franklin from Poor Richards Almanac

• People who fly into a rage seldom make a good landing. ~Will Rogers

Most of the time, our bad temper stems from selfishness, impatience, hurt, fatigue, or frustration. But when we give someone the power to make us angry, we are at their mercy.  I’ve learned the hard way that my anger solves nothing. It only serves to make me feel foolish and guilty while I make others uncomfortable or push them away.

Bob Gass says, “Not everything is worth getting angry about. The more calmly you see a situation, the more clearly you see how to handle it. That’s why we have to choose our battles wisely."

If you’re a member of the Bad Temper Club, cancel your membership immediately. Bid it goodbye and get outta town. You’ll be glad you did … and so will everyone else.

(Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net and saphatthachat.)

TWEETABLES

If you’re a member of the Bad Temper Club, cancel your membership immediately. Bid it goodbye and get outta town. You’ll be glad you did … and so will everyone else. via @AndreaMerrell (Click to tweet.)

People who fly into a rage seldom make a good landing. ~Will Rogers via @AndreaMerrell (Click to tweet.)

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The Harmful Effects of Anger and Resentment

By Andrea Merrell

Anger. It’s something we’re all familiar with to some degree. For me, it was a problem I dealt with on a daily basis for years—not understanding why, and not realizing how it was affecting me and those around me.

Everything seemed to make me angry. I was a volcano looking for place to erupt. There were skeletons in my emotional closet that continually rattled, reminding me of past hurts, betrayals, and failures. Those dry bones caused resentment and sent me into a tirade. This went on so long that anger and resentment became my default, causing me to respond in a negative way, no matter how hard I tried not to.

Even when trying to overcome this hateful, harmful behavior by stuffing it deep inside, it was doing more harm than I could imagine.

This is what pastor and author Bob Gass says about the subject:

Doctors say resentment eats at your stomach lining, attacks your immune system, and predisposes you to heart problems, cancers, and other physical, social, and emotional disorders. And that’s not all. It preoccupies your mind, drains your energy, and cripples your creativity. It strains your fellowship with God, your family and friends, as well as denying your offender an opportunity to clear their conscience and make things right with God and with you. Until you deal with the issue, you’ll drag it around like a ball and chain.

No matter how you slice and dice it, anger and resentment are born from selfishness. Just like a child, this is how we respond when we don’t get  our way. These emotions are also, as God showed me, a choice. We can make a conscious decision to react in anger or respond in love. Love acts; it does not react. When I finally took responsibility for my actions and made the choice to put away anger and walk in love, God set me free.

If you’re battling with anger issues, take them to the Lord and ask for His help. Make the decision to put away resentment and walk in God’s peace. Don’t allow these harmful emotions to wreck your mind, your body, or your relationships.

(Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net and Stuart Miles.)

TWEETABLES

Don’t allow anger to wreck your mind, your body, or your relationships. via @AndreaMerrell (Click to tweet.)

Love acts; it does not react. The choice is up to you. via @AndreaMerrell (Click to tweet.)