By Andrea Merrell
No test or
temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to
face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never
let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come
through it.
1 Corinthians
10:13 MSG
“I’ve been to hell, and I’m only halfway back,” I told my
husband. Not something I would normally say but exactly how I felt after a
recent back surgery.
But when I should have been preparing to go home, things took
a nosedive. I had a reaction to the anesthesia, which set off a firestorm
inside me and kept me in the hospital for eight days instead of three. I was so
sick I could barely function or even think. During one of the darkest times of
my life, I felt as if the Enemy was trying to take me out. That’s when I said, “God,
where are you?”
As always, He was right there with me, but in the same way
Peter took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the storm swirling around him, I
focused on my circumstances. I was afraid and let fear get the best of me. I
panicked, wondering if I would make it. I tried to pray, to call out to the
Lord, but my body screamed louder than my prayers. My dependence remained on
those I knew were interceding for me.
When back home and things were a bit more settled down, I cried
as I asked God to forgive me for thinking even for a moment that He had
abandoned me. I was sure I had let Him down. I let myself down.
That’s when I heard Jesus whisper, Remember, I felt that way
once too.
God has promised to never leave us or let us be pushed past
our limit. Even when we’re sure we can’t take another horrendous moment, He is
right there with us, ready to help us come through victorious. And when we
falter in our faith, He forgives, restores, and tells us not to be so hard on ourselves.
We are, after all, human beings, in a fragile, temporary body, subject to a
curse that fills the earth.
But one day we will stand before Him in a place prepared for
us where there are no tears, no sorrow, no pain, and no more death. I’m looking
forward to that day, but until then I will trust Him with my whole heart.
How about you?
Photo by Kinga Howard on Unsplash
I have too often wondered where he was in my life and why I was abandoned and why he couldn’t be bothered to answer my prayers if he was listening
ReplyDeleteAll who serve God go through dark tunnels and stormy seasons A pastor once said Faith makes you resilient I’ve never fully agreed with that but I know I have often said to God I don’t need more resilience I just need some things changing for the better
I’m delighted you are back and writing again
Thank you so much for your comments. There are so many things in this life we don't ... and never will ... understand. I'm learning that God doesn't owe us an explanation, even when we beg to know why. He just wants us to trust Him. It's hard when we're in the middle of those dark tunnels and stormy seasons, but we have to remember that He is right there with us. He loves us, He is for us, and He will see us through to the other side. Blessings! :)
DeleteYes moments of doubt when my breast cancer journey keeps throwing everything at me “including the kitchen sink”. Besides the side effects of chemo, I’m now facing heart surgery and esophagitis from radiation. I try to focus on one day at a time and trust His Promises. Rejoice in Hope; persevere in tribulation, and pray w/o ceasing.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot to be facing at one time. You're right, it does sound like the kitchen sink ... and then some. But I love your attitude and the fact that you are standing on His Word. He is our hope, and ultimately our life is in His hands. I am lifting you up to the Father and asking Him to hold you close and see you gently through these procedures. I believe you will have a powerful testimony to share when you reach the other side. Blessings! :)
DeleteAndrea, I’m so thankful you are getting better and stronger with each day. Life is filled with all manner of storms, but He always climbs into the boat with us declaring, “Peace, be still.” May you feel His overwhelming presence with you as you take the next steps on this journey to a healthier you. Prayers are lifted daily!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a blessing, Deb. Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement. :)
DeleteKeeping you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. :)
DeleteAndrea, I'm so sorry you went through this painful ordeal. Sometimes our circumstances can get in the way of what we know. God IS with us but in pain, whether emotional or physical, we default to what hurts. I pray you continue to heal and thanks for sharing this vulnerable moment with us. As humans most of us have been there too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your encouraging words, Barbara. :)
DeleteOnce, in a very dark moment, God asked me, “Am I good?” Though a gentlemen, he was persistent, not allowing me to not answer. Finally I whispered what I knew to be true. “Yes. Yes, You are good.” He then said, “Okay then. Then trust me.”
ReplyDeleteI love you, Andrea. I’m glad you’re now on the “other” side of this dark experience—stronger than ever, in more ways than one!
Yes, we must learn to trust ... no matter what. Thanks for sharing. Love you! :)
ReplyDelete