Who Are You Trying to Please?

 

By Andrea Merrell

Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit,

but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

Philippians 2:3 NKJV

 

For so much of my life I was a bona fide people pleaser. Unsure of myself and lacking a healthy sense of self-esteem, I tried to be and do what I thought everyone else expected of me. What I didn’t realize at the time was that my efforts were rooted in pride and selfishness. I cared more about what people thought about me than I cared for those people. 

My misguided and performance-oriented efforts led to nothing more than hopelessness, anxiety, and feelings of being less than, never good enough. I was seeking acceptance and approval in the wrong places.

The apostle Paul tells us in Philippians that we should esteem others better than ourselves. The NLT says it like this: “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.”

Once I found my true identity in Christ and took my focus off myself, I learned to be less self-conscious and more God-conscious. My approval and acceptance come from Him, and He is the only one I need to please—not others and not even myself. That revelation set me free to love others without any selfish motives.

One writer says that we should care about others even when they don’t care about us. That’s the love of God in action.

So ... who are you trying to please?

Photo by Ricky Kharawala on Unsplash

Who Are You Trying to Please?

By Andrea Merrell

Let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.

Romans 12:6 MSG

Fear comes in many forms, but one of the worst is fear of rejection … which leads to frustration and disappointment … which leads to insecurity … which leads to a lifetime of unsuccessful people-pleasing.

For years I battled with low self-esteem and spent most of my time trying to measure up to what I thought others expected of me. I became the ultimate people-pleaser. Since it never seemed to work—no matter how hard I tried—I always felt like a failure, never knowing my true self or worth. I was always trying to find myself and where I fit. I feared rejection and found myself being controlled by others.

My life drastically changed when I finally found myself—in Christ. The revelation of His love for me turned everything around, especially the way I viewed myself.

Pastor and author Bob Gass says:

People who succeed at being themselves don’t let others control them. They see themselves as God sees them; therefore, they’re led by His Word instead of the fear of rejection. You can invest so much effort in trying to keep everyone happy that you end up losing yourself.

I’ve learned that what other people think is not my problem—unless I make it my problem. My first and foremost concern is pleasing God with my thoughts, words, and actions. My only responsibility is to be who He created me to be. When I try to be someone else, my life becomes all about pretense. When I imitate others and try to be someone or something I’m not, I run the risk of forfeiting God’s blessings, because God can’t bless an imitation.

When we are secure in who we are in Christ—loved, forgiven, redeemed, accepted, unique—the scattered pieces of our life come together to form the picture of us that God sees as complete and perfect.

Don’t let others control you by their unrealistic expectations. Your security and self-worth are only found in Him—and He is the only One you need to please.

(Photo courtesy of Blogpiks.com and Stuart Miles.)

TWEETABLE

Fear of rejection can lead to a lifetime of unsuccessful people-pleasing. via @AndreaMerrell(Click to tweet.)

To read in browser or leave a comment, click here.