When They’re Hard to Love

 By Andrea Merrell

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another.

As I have loved you, that you also love one another. 

By this all will know that you are My disciples,

if you have love for one another.

John 13:34-34 NKJV

She was one of those people who is difficult to be around. Hard to love. But sometimes these are the type of people who need love the most.

I once heard someone say, “It’s hard to hug a porcupine.” When that’s our attitude, we tend to shy away from these folks, avoiding them at all costs.

The Word for You Today says:

The people we would prefer to ignore are the very ones who need huge doses of love. If a person can’t find love, they will seek attention. And if they can’t obtain positive attention, they will work at attracting negative attention. Unintentionally, they are saying, “I will be noticed one way or another.”

James Dobson from Focus on the Family referred to this as the “soggy potato chip principle.” He explained that when a child wants a potato chip, they prefer a fresh, crisp one, but they will take a soggy one rather than not have one at all.

What is the best way for us to deal with these difficult people? By changing our thoughts about them instead of being ruled by our emotions. By looking beyond their faults and focusing more on their needs—the biggest of which is to be loved. To be seen. To be validated.

Some call this “loving by faith,” and it takes a conscious decision on our part. Our thoughts and attitudes determine our words and actions.

Jesus said we are to love one another. So what do we do when someone is hard to love? We love them a whole lot more.

Follow Jesus’ example … go ahead and hug that porcupine.

Photo by Alexas_Fotos on Unsplash