Holding Tightly to God's Grace

By Andrea Merrell

My mother is dying and my daughter–my friend—is moving eight hours away. I can't seem to stop the tears.

The last visit with my mother was heart wrenching. As dark, vacant eyes stared at me from the nursing home bed, I wondered what thoughts were swirling through her mind—thoughts she could not express because she has almost lost her ability to speak. Even her scribbles on a piece of paper were undecipherable.

She knew me, but there was no communication between us … never has been. It was awkward at best … always has been. Not knowing what else to do, I took her face in my hands and leaned down toward her. She kissed my cheek. I kissed hers. “I love you,” I said, and she mouthed the words back to me. That may be my very last memory of her. Only time will tell.

Now I grieve for the relationship we never had and believe for a second chance when we are reunited in heaven.  

And while I struggle with the knowledge my daughter will no longer be minutes away, I rejoice and give thanks for the close and loving relationship we have ... the kind of relationship I wish I'd had with my own mother. 

It’s a dichotomy of sorts. Opposites. Two ends of the spectrum. So I shed tears of both joy and sadness, and I trust God to guard my heart. I hold tightly to His grace, knowing that things change. Seasons of our life come and go. When I feel overwhelmed and don’t know what to do, I run to Him.

My grace is sufficient, He whispers.

In a world where life is hard and things don’t always make sense, that’s enough for me.

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When life is hard and things don't make sense, hold tightly to God's grace. via @AndreaMerrell (Click to Tweet.)

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