When They’re Hard to Love

 By Andrea Merrell

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another.

As I have loved you, that you also love one another. 

By this all will know that you are My disciples,

if you have love for one another.

John 13:34-34 NKJV

She was one of those people who is difficult to be around. Hard to love. But sometimes these are the type of people who need love the most.

I once heard someone say, “It’s hard to hug a porcupine.” When that’s our attitude, we tend to shy away from these folks, avoiding them at all costs.

The Word for You Today says:

The people we would prefer to ignore are the very ones who need huge doses of love. If a person can’t find love, they will seek attention. And if they can’t obtain positive attention, they will work at attracting negative attention. Unintentionally, they are saying, “I will be noticed one way or another.”

James Dobson from Focus on the Family referred to this as the “soggy potato chip principle.” He explained that when a child wants a potato chip, they prefer a fresh, crisp one, but they will take a soggy one rather than not have one at all.

What is the best way for us to deal with these difficult people? By changing our thoughts about them instead of being ruled by our emotions. By looking beyond their faults and focusing more on their needs—the biggest of which is to be loved. To be seen. To be validated.

Some call this “loving by faith,” and it takes a conscious decision on our part. Our thoughts and attitudes determine our words and actions.

Jesus said we are to love one another. So what do we do when someone is hard to love? We love them a whole lot more.

Follow Jesus’ example … go ahead and hug that porcupine.

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Check Your Foundation

 

By Andrea Merrell

For no one can lay any foundation other than

the one we already have—Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 3:11 NLT

 

“The foundation is full of cracks,” the contractor told the man, “so the structure is unstable. I’m afraid we’ll have to tear it down and start over.”

The man was devastated, thinking of the time, money, and effort that had gone into the project. This would set him back, but he knew it would be worth it in the end.

Having a solid foundation is crucial to whatever we’re building, especially a marriage, family, friendships, business, or ministry. But how do we do that? Here’s what the Word says in Luke 6:46-49 (NLT) about building on a solid foundation:

So why do you keep calling me “Lord, Lord!” when you don’t do what I say? I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house right on the ground, without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.

Who is that solid rock? Jesus. The Bible refers to Him in numerous places as the chief and precious cornerstone, firm and tested. He is the One who can hold all things together in spite of whatever comes our way.

If the winds of adversity are blowing your way and threatening to take you down, be sure to check your foundation. Maybe it’s time to rebuild on the Rock.

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Are You Weighed Down?

 

By Andrea Merrell

 

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28 NKJV

 

“Stop, Daddy, stop!” the little boy shouted as he bounced up and down in the backseat.

The dad slowed the car and glanced at his son in the rearview mirror. “Why do we need to stop? What’s wrong, Son, are you sick?”

The boy continued to bounce. “Didn’t you see the sign? It said we have to pull over and weigh ourselves.”

The dad chuckled as he patiently explained to his child that trucks must pull into the weigh station to make sure their loads are not heavier than their trucks can legally haul.

What if we had the same safeguards? Places where we could pull in and measure our stress level and the loads we carry before we wear ourselves down.

Fortunately, God has provided such a safeguard for us. Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. The Message says it this way:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.

When we come to Jesus, He promises us rest. He will take our heavy burdens—our stress, our problems, our anxiety—and lighten our load.

Experiencing the unforced rhythms of grace sounds like a good plan to me.

How about you?

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Put Down That Rock

 

By Andrea Merrell

Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone.

If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody.

Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do.

“I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”

Romans 12:19 MSG

 

The little boy stood with feet apart and hand raised high, ready to throw the rock at his older brother for teasing him. “You’ll be sorry!” he shouted.

Seconds before the threat was carried out, their mom stepped outside. “Put down that rock, Son. That’s not how we handle things.”

I wonder how often God wants to say to us, “Put down that rock, my child. That’s not how I’ve taught you to handle things.”

Rocks come in the form of verbal jousts. Criticism. Judgements. Those times we’re tempted to fling accusations and hurtful words to get back at someone.

When the woman was caught in the very act of adultery and flung at Jesus’ feet, her accusers stood by, ready to stone her to death. Jesus told them to go ahead—as long as they were without sin. In other words (my translation), “Forget it, boys, not a one of you is sinless.”

We’re told all through the Scriptures to love one another. To be kind. To pray for our enemies. Not to repay evil for evil. To turn the other cheek. That involves a choice and requires a large measure of self-control When our flesh screams, “I’m going to make them pay,” God says to us, “No, my child, leave it in my hands. Love, forgive, and move on. I’ve got this.”

No matter what, God’s way is always better … so put down that rock.

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Home Sweet Home

 

By Andrea Merrell

 

O Lord, you have always been our home.

Psalms 90:1 TEV

 

I smiled as I opened a gift from a friend. The beautiful gold lettering on a long piece of parchment paper unfolded a lifetime of memories, and I realized the truth in those few simple words: Home—the place your story begins.

 

Some say we are what we eat. Others say we are what we read. Still others insist we become like the people we associate with. I believe we are the sum total of our life experiences, yet it all begins at home from our earliest recollections.

 

As a writer, I draw from everything that has touched my life. Even when creating fictional stories and larger-than-life characters, I find many of my own attitudes, experiences, and hang-ups sneaking their way into the story.

 

Everyone who touches us leaves an impression—some to a greater degree than others. We are influenced by success, relationships, and blessings, as well as pain, heartache, and failures. Seeds are planted throughout our days—both good and bad—and they spring up when we least expect them.

 

Even though home has great bearing on who we become, it has not always been my safety net. There were times in my life I wanted to be anywhere else but home. The good news is God takes all the broken pieces, smooths out the rough edges, and strategically puts the puzzle together, forming the bigger picture. When we belong to Him, He takes every trial and every triumph, refines them, and wraps them in His grace. God promises to work every situation for our good, His glory, and the benefit of those around us. He also promises to prepare a place for us where we will spend eternity. That’s when the journey really begins.

My story began in my childhood home, dysfunctional at best. It continues today as a wife, mother, grandmother, author, editor, and devoted child of God. He is my dwelling place. My Forever home.

 

In the Wizard of Oz, young Dorothy had a grand adventure and met lots of quirky characters on her way. I’ve had some pretty grand adventures myself, but one day when I reach my heavenly destination I will say just like Dorothy, There’s no place like home.

 

How about you? Will you let Him re-write your story and become your forever home?